Pagan and Proud

For many years I have struggled with my religious views. I was raised Christian, although we rarely attended church. Usually only when the grandparents were in town for a holiday like Christmas or Easter would we go to a service. When I was small I would go to the Sunday school room and I even had a picture Bible (that the rest of the kids made fun of because it wasn't "a real Bible because real Bibles don't have all those pictures"). Like in high school many years later, I felt like I was an outcast and just didn't quite fit in with the other kids. In other words it wasn't my favorite place to be. Maybe that's what started it, but as I got older I started to wonder who this "God" is. 

I'm a very scientific minded person. If I can't see it or feel it and/or see how it works, I have a hard time understanding it. I like to experiment and see the results to learn more about what it is I'm interested in. So when I was in my teens I started attending church again with my sister who is very devout Christian. I wanted to get a better view than what I had in Sunday school where I was always so uncomfortable. I was older and therefore wiser to maybe understand better. I went with her for about a month I think going to every Sunday service or Wednesday night (which was better, because that's when most of the younger people went). I learned a lot about Christian belief. ..But I still was not convinced that this was my path. I admire the values Christians have. I understood that this was the teaching they were trying to get across. What I still didn't understand was who is "God" and why did some people hear him or speak with him, but not me. Why were bad things happening to some people and good happening to others. And not even always was it good happening to good and bad happening to bad. Why would God choose to punish good people? And why would "he" give good fortune to very bad people? I started to really question what religion was all about and started, at one point, identifying with Atheism. I couldn't fathom that this 'great being' created the Earth in 7 days among other far fetched myths. And I think that's when it hit me. The word 'myth' that is. I started to associate this word to the stories in the  Bible, just like one would associate this word to stories of the ancient world and things/places like Atlantis and such. You can't see it, no one has found it, but yet the story still lives on from thousands of years ago. I started to wonder about the origins of these myths and wanted to learn more. 

In my early 20's I moved north from Southern California and met a girl at a place I worked at. She was the one that introduced me to Wicca and that lead me to research lots of the Pagan beliefs. In doing so I realized that Paganism is a very controversial religion. After all if you are Pagan you are considered a witch and if you haven't looked up the definition of the word "witch" it's not very attractive. Lots about how they practice magic, mostly dark or black magic. Witches are ugly and deceitful people not to be trusted. Why would any one WANT to follow this path. Well, mostly because people don't want to educate them selves about what they are not familiar with if it doesn't concern them. And some make it their concern with out educating them selves first and that's where the bullying and hatred starts. I, on the other hand, was very curious about all of this and wanted to know more about where and how it started. This is what I learned:

The definition of the word pagan means [basically] one who is of no religion, one who lives off the land and uses that of nature to guide, heal and inspire. In other words it was all the people that lived in the country out of the reach of their kingdom and [new] religious views. People that truly lived off the land using herbs (natural remedies, something we could use a lot more of in this day and age) and any thing else that aided their living and health. Who else would you thank for the growths that heal and feed, the dirt that made the growth possible and the sun, rain and animals that aided in that growth? Earth! Or in other words, the Goddess within that gave birth to all of the wonderful, helpful, healing aspects of our world. I know, far fetched, right? But how far fetched is it to think that an unseen being created the Earth in a mere seven days??

Today is Pagan Coming Out Day and I am taking advantage of this because for many years I have become a stronger believer of the Pagan path, but scared of the repercussions of being open about it because of societies outlook on Pagans, or witches if you will. I've come to realize that this is probably a very similar feeling for most gays. (I have very close friends/family that are.) It's a scary feeling to think that some one may hurt you or even try or want to hurt you because of who you are (physically or mentally. It's all just as bad). It's not an attack on what you believe or your sexual preference, It's a direct action toward you as a person. No one should ever feel afraid of who they are!!! But I am curbing that fear today to let you all know that I am Pagan and I am proud of it. And I encourage you to inquire more about it today (I'll be more than happy to answer questions). If not for your own curiosity, than for someone you may know that you may not have known is Pagan because of their same insecurities a lot of us have. Be knowledgeable, not judgmental.